Date: Sat, 15 Oct 2005 22:44:06 -0400
From: Dave Lawrence
Subject: Lose Years Fast!
The following is a paid advertisement from BioChronoTech.
(Put that in your spam filter and choke on it.)
We know how it goes. You've been working so hard to take years off
your life, without results. Smoking, drinking, unprotected sex
with syphilitic whores in southeast Asia --- you try and try and try,
but nothing ever works! What's a person to do?
Fret no more, BioChronoTech has discovered a sure-fire way to help you
with your dilemma. We're so confident that our patent-pending process
will work for you that we GUARANTEE* it.
Using a carefully formulated plan involving a street bike, a cold
rainy day, a steep, downhill, curvy dirt road turned to silty mud, and
a surfeit of blowing, wet leaves, you will just feel the years melt
away. Living to 75 didn't seem palatable? We'll stress your heart
so well that you'll feel the years just fly away in mere tenths of a
mile. As an added bonus your sphincter will button up so tight it's
sure to embed harmful toxins in your system for decades to come.
AMA approved. No motorcycles were harmed (miraculously) in the
development of this special process.
Seminar space is limited! Operators are standing by, so call now!
* Limited Guarantee: We cannot refund lost years, however if you feel
the number of years lost is insufficient with your goals we will
strive to come up with alternative means to shorten your life. Try us!
(400ish miles today. Never saw another bike.)